It is hard for me to accept people's changes. Not that that's that uncommon of a thing, not many people actually like or believe in changes. It's not that I don't believe people change; I of all people should know the capacity people have to change. It is hard for me to experience someone's transformations firsthand and easily take them in. It's hard from me to acknowledge even the simplest of my own changes sometimes. For example; I need to eventually need to stop introducing myself as Riley, the 12 year old who likes dolphins and is afraid of the movie War of the Worlds.
"You're a different person than you were several years ago." My friend and counselling mentor coaxed me during my 2-week C.I.T. program. He was right. I had this great vain fear of having to lead the preteen all girls group the following day... scared they wouldn't listen or would give me 'tude or make fun of my glasses or something. I do not represent an insecure 13 year old peer; I represent an older, trained, role model-esque leader who has earned the right to lead them. Needless to say, the girls showed me the respect I was praying for.
My sister Ryann and I have always been very close and I struggle a lot with accepting her changes. She wants the attention and belonging that all preteens want and in my mind she seems to stop short of nothing in order to gain it. The way she acts reminds me of myself at eleven. I want to grab her and violently shake her and say "BE YOURSELF RYANN, PEOPLE WILL REMEMBER YOU IF YOU BE YOURSELF." But her hearing that from me is sort of like seeing it on the front page of National Enquirer. Ryann wants to develop her own style and personality completely different from mine. I can't stand the fact that not all changes are optional or for the immediate better. Call me selfish, but I want her to turn out exactly the way I have molded her to in my head. Luckily, she is a very stubborn girl who thinks for herself and I know for sure that that trait will never alter.
I read a book recently called "Shouting at the Sky," by Gary Ferguson. It's a story about a wilderness therapy camp in the middle of Utah's Red Desert. The story really moved me, both as someone who could benefit and someone who is inspired by helping others. A part in the book that moved me the most was a piece someone read around the campfire: Autobiography in Five Short Chapters by Portia Nelson. Trying to change and shelter Ryann is the opposite of what I should be doing; she has to figure out what is her fault and how to get out of holes on her own or she will never get past chapter 2. There is a magnet on my refrigerator that has a quote on it by George Bernard. It reads "Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself."
Dwell on it, my individual individuals.
"You're a different person than you were several years ago." My friend and counselling mentor coaxed me during my 2-week C.I.T. program. He was right. I had this great vain fear of having to lead the preteen all girls group the following day... scared they wouldn't listen or would give me 'tude or make fun of my glasses or something. I do not represent an insecure 13 year old peer; I represent an older, trained, role model-esque leader who has earned the right to lead them. Needless to say, the girls showed me the respect I was praying for.
My sister Ryann and I have always been very close and I struggle a lot with accepting her changes. She wants the attention and belonging that all preteens want and in my mind she seems to stop short of nothing in order to gain it. The way she acts reminds me of myself at eleven. I want to grab her and violently shake her and say "BE YOURSELF RYANN, PEOPLE WILL REMEMBER YOU IF YOU BE YOURSELF." But her hearing that from me is sort of like seeing it on the front page of National Enquirer. Ryann wants to develop her own style and personality completely different from mine. I can't stand the fact that not all changes are optional or for the immediate better. Call me selfish, but I want her to turn out exactly the way I have molded her to in my head. Luckily, she is a very stubborn girl who thinks for herself and I know for sure that that trait will never alter.
I read a book recently called "Shouting at the Sky," by Gary Ferguson. It's a story about a wilderness therapy camp in the middle of Utah's Red Desert. The story really moved me, both as someone who could benefit and someone who is inspired by helping others. A part in the book that moved me the most was a piece someone read around the campfire: Autobiography in Five Short Chapters by Portia Nelson. Trying to change and shelter Ryann is the opposite of what I should be doing; she has to figure out what is her fault and how to get out of holes on her own or she will never get past chapter 2. There is a magnet on my refrigerator that has a quote on it by George Bernard. It reads "Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself."
Dwell on it, my individual individuals.
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